


how is she alive?

by spacewitchase



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Character Study, F/M, I did not read the novelization, Mentions of abuse and being use, because seeing it once on screen hurt me enough, follows the canon narrative, what were they thinking on their last moments?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24012190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacewitchase/pseuds/spacewitchase
Summary: The Force is a curious thing. Does it really bring good fortune to those it chooses?Being a Force-sensitive Skywalker, it never end well.—This is my participation for #MaytheFourth. My own interpretation of TRoS ending.
Relationships: Leia Organa/Han Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	1. the dyad

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I just want to say I did not read the novelization or comics. I finished the Episode IX today and this is my way of dealing with the hurt. I try to make it canon-verse as much as I can (I already knew about the spoilers and stuff from discussion on Twitter but it still hurts)

_Rey...?_

Ben Solo could not feel Rey through the Force. He had to hurry his climb out of the pit hole he got thrown off. His dyad needed his help and they had to destroy Palpatine before he could command the Final Order. Ben winced when he pulled himself up and his injured leg hit the rock. The pain from his injuries then wouldn’t compare to the agony he felt when he saw the person lying on the ground. He wanted to shout but he saved his energy and focused on dragging himself to where she laid. The lightsabers were on the ground, useless now that the fight was over. He gathered her in his arms and was meet with unseeing eyes. 

He looked around, trying to find one of her friends to help him but he was meet with no one. There was not even a aircraft he could try to force-land and borrow their emergency kit. Not that a kit could save her now. His warmth could not even do anything as she was getting colder and colder in his arms. _I know what I have to do but do I have the strength to do it?_

_You do._ His father’s voice rang in his head and he remembered his mother’s urging him to come home. But he knew home was with the woman in his arms. Rey’s life-force was slowly dimming and his resolved strengthen. He could do this for Rey. She could live for him and be his atonement. He did not deserve a hero’s welcome because the only person who cared for him was slowly joining the Force. 

_Grandfather, I finished what you started.._. 

Ben put his hand on her and gathered the life-force within him to transfer it to his dyad. He never done that before. Well, there were a lot of things he never done before for himself. All the decisions and choices in his cursed life were made for him. He never wanted to be part of a legacy. He never wanted to be one of the Jedi or the leader of Knights of Ren. _You have too much of your father’s heart._ Maybe he did because ever since he was a child, he looked up to his father and envision a future full of thrill and adventure. Ben Solo, even Kylo Ren, was always a disappointment to the people around him. No one bothered to save him from himself except for Rey. 

_...saving what we love most..._

He felt her took a breathe then her hand on his. Ben opened his eyes and saw her looking at him. She was staring at him like she could not believe her vision came true. He could feel the confusion in her mind and the gratitude for this moment. Her hand tenderly touched his face where his scar was before she healed him. Both of them breathing shakily then she whispered his name softly, “Ben.” 

And every thing in his life could not prepare him for the touch he longed for all his existence. It was not just the kiss but the **_affection_** behind the gesture. He could feel the call of the Force. He tried to resist it for a few more moments, basking in this moment they both deserve. He closed his eyes and gave her a soft smile, hoping it would convey everything he wanted to say to her. 

Ben Solo was a selfish man. So selfish that he wanted his last vision of his life to be of Rey smiling at him.  
—

Rey was ready to sacrifice herself. To be the chosen one who dies and saved the galaxy. She did not feel Ben’s life-force went out and she was hoping he lived. It might have been arrogant of her to channel all the Jedi without her dyad but she was doing this for Ben. He should not be abused by anyone anymore, not if she had a say to it. She could feel the call of the Force and slowly joining the rest of the Jedi before her. Rey’s only regret was she never had a chance to tell Ben her vision with him. Their future together. She wanted to shake her head and remind herself it was war and feelings were not a priority. 

But the oblivion she expected never came. She felt Ben a few seconds before all of her was with the Force. Rey took a breathe shakily and touched the hand on her stomach. She could not believe she was touching Ben Solo’s hand, the one she longed to do ever since Luke told her what happened with Ben. Her only **hope** came through out of the pit of darkness and saved her.

Rey opened her eyes and saw his glistening with tenderness. She always knew the belonging she seek was with Ben and this moment felt right. Everything was forgotten. Her heart, which was almost dead a few moments ago, was bursting with happiness and warmth she never felt before despite living in Jakku. 

“Ben.”

She did not know what urged her to do so but she kissed him. And he felt like home. 

His soft smile could light the whole galaxy and she could not help but returned it. Rey was filled with euphoria and caught with the moment she did not pause to ask how did she survive. She realized when he closed his eyes, still with that smile, that he was the reason. 

_Ben...?_ Her mouth stopped responding to her and she tried to reach him through their bond. The warmth she was basking before slowly left her. Rey was desperately clinging to him and his life. Before she could attempt to gather the Force within her and reach him, Ben was becoming translucent until he was gone. 

Her dyad. Her hope. _Doesn’t the hero deserve a reward?_! She tried reaching for his Force ghost at least or whoever Jedi ghost to help her understand what was happening. She was happy and complete a few moments ago, weren’t they suppose to have a happily ever after? They could run away, start a new life together without the Jedi or Sith Code. They would finally feel peace and belonging they both seek. What was the purpose of a dyad if there was only one? 

Rey’s mind was thrown back to Jakku, a vivid memory came up to her consciousness. She saw her younger self experiencing the same feeling spreading through her. However, now it was so much worst and she knew the reason. She could not help but ask the same thing at no one in particular.

 _Did you feel the cold?_


	2. Finn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he is so happy they’re alive he does not noticed she is dying inside

When the three of them stop their tearful embrace, they gave each other a sincere smile. Finn wanted to live in this moment. He never felt this happy before in his life. His mind wondered to how it all started and he thought to himself he would never regret saving the man besides him. 

Rey had been quiet when they were retelling their victory on their side. Finn had been wanting to ask what happened to hers. When she stopped her story with her being the vessel of all the Jedi to defeat Palpatine, he could not help himself but be awed. 

“That was amazing, Rey.” He smiled at her. “But I felt you die.” 

She never said anything besides, “You can use the Force, too?” 

Finn explained what he could about him being Force sensitive. He was so excited to share this with his friend that he forgot what he wanted to ask her in the first place.   
  


Too bad he would not get a chance again as Rey kept on evading it until she left for Tatooine. 


	3. Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they were never close friends but she can see someone mourning because she had been there

There were nights after their victory that keep her wide awake. Rose thought how her sister, Paige, deserves to witness how the Resistance rise from the ashes. Time eased the pain and it would always be there. She had been mourning quietly for longer than she could remember to recognize people who are grieving, too. And Rose knew that the last Jedi is suffering silently.   
“You don’t have to hide it to me, you know,” she said to her while helping her stocked up supplies for Rey’s journey. 

Rey pauses for a second but then continued what she was packing. She didn’t say a word. 

A few hours later and Rey was set to travel. Rose was one of the people to offer their safe travel wishes for their Jedi. 

“We miss the General, too,” Rose whispered to her softly. “If you needed someone to talk you can talk to me.” 

For the first time after defeating the First Order and stopping the Final Order, Rose saw Rey’s broke for a moment before silently saying, “Thank you, Rose.” 

And Rose would never forget that few seconds of lost and brokenness on her face. She was mistaken. Yes, Rey was mourning for the General but also for someone close to her heart. She remembered now that in their base their was an unspoken question someone would never be brave enough to ask their Jedi. The face Rey showed for a moment answered the question. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my mess. Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
